Self-trust is way less cute than people make it sound

Self-trust sounds a little woo-woo, I know.

Like believe in yourself!!! Keep promises to yourself!!! Become your BEST self!!!

But I actually think self-trust is soooo damn underrated, AND I think a lot of people avoid actually working on it because IT WILL require you to be uncomfortable.

Because self-trust, at least the way I think about it, is pretty simple (not easy... just simple):

Do I believe myself when I say I’m going to do something?

And that question gets uncomfortable REALLL quick.

How many times have I said I’m going to reduce weight and really focus on my nutrition, and then nighttime comes around and I get a craving?

Or I feel some kind of discomfort.

Or I have the munchies and there’s food in the pantry and I’m thinking about it.

So I go grab something. Then something else. And maybe I eat 200 or 300 calories more than I actually intended to.

The next day I feel guilty about it and think, okay, TODAY I’m going to be good.

And then nighttime comes around again.

Same craving, same discomfort, same pantry.

Same DAMNN cycle.

And after doing that enough times, OF COURSE I’m going to have a hard time trusting myself when I say, “this time I’m going to follow through.”

Because I have a WHOLE history of saying one thing and doing the complete opposite

And listen, this isn’t about becoming some insane robot who follows through on EVERYTHING regardless of what is happening in your life.

Plans will change, shit happens. Sometimes changing your mind IS the right decision.

I’m talking about those moments where you know exactly what you’re doing.

You know the behaviour you’re choosing is an away move.

You know it’s not moving you forward in any shape or form.

You know you’re choosing it because it gives you something RIGHT NOW. Relief, comfort, pleasure, avoidance. Whatever it is.

And you also know that choosing it is a disservice to yourself and the things you keep saying you want.

THOSE are the moments I’m talking about.

And lately I’ve been trying to catch myself right there.

One thing I’ve started doing sounds almost stupidly simple, but it has genuinely changed the way I talk to myself.

If I set my alarm earlier than I normally get up, there is obviously a moment when it goes off where my brain is like:

ohhhh I could stay in bed.

I could hit snooze.

I’ll get up in 15 minutes.

And instead of having a 10-minute convo with myself at 6 am, I’ve started saying:

“The woman I’m becoming gets up when her alarm goes off.”

And then I get the fuck up.

I’ve started doing this with SO many things.

I get a craving and my brain starts trying to convince me that I NEED to go get something from the pantry?

"The woman I’m becoming doesn’t need to act on every craving just because it showed up."

I don’t feel like doing the thing I said I was going to do?

"The woman I’m becoming follows through even when she doesn’t feel 100%."

I want to avoid something because doing it feels uncomfortable?

"Would the woman I’m trying to become keep avoiding this?"

I’m using it to bring myself back to behaviour.

What would she actually DO here?

Because I could journal about the woman I want to become for 45 minutes. I could make the Pinterest board. I could write down my goals. I could visualize her. I could talk about her all fucking day.

Eventually I have to behave like her.

And usually the opportunity to do that isn’t going to show up in some huge, life-changing decision.

It’s 6:15am and my alarm is going off.

It’s 9pm and I want to raid the pantry and become the cookie monster.

It’s going for the walk I said I was going to go on.

It’s closing my laptop when I said I would.

It’s doing something uncomfortable when nobody is there to know whether I did it or not.

Those tiny choices are the reps.

Every time I follow through, I’m giving myself another reason to believe myself the next time I say “I’m going to do this.”

And every time I catch myself making an away move, I have another opportunity to choose differently.

I’m not going to choose the toward move every single time.

I’m a human being lol.

But I want my history with myself to start showing me:

when I say something matters to me, I fucking act like it matters.

THAT, to me, is self-trust.

And yeah, building it will require some sacrifice.

Sometimes the thing you’re sacrificing is 15 more minutes in bed.

Sometimes it’s eating something just because you have the urge to eat it.

Sometimes it’s the immediate relief you get from avoiding something.

Sometimes it’s being comfortable.

That part isn’t fun LOL.

But you don't build self-trust by repeatedly choosing whatever makes you feel the most comfortable in the moment.

At some point, you have to start putting in the reps as the person you keep saying you want to become.

Because actions literallyyyyy speak LOUDER than words. You can’t think your way to change. You have to start doing it.